Are we there yet?

Wednesday night I was taking Taylor back to her other Mom's house. Brad Paisleys new song about how this country is a stinking melting pot of other cultures was on and the part about french kissing came up.

Taylor: "I know what French kissing is!"
Me: "What?"
Taylor: gives me her best fish/french kissy face
Me: *giggling* "You look like a fish! Is that how people french kiss is a fishy kiss?"
Taylor: "Well yeah, that's how they do it in the movies......Have you ever french kissed, Mom?"
Me: "Well, honey you can only do that when you are married."
Taylor: *getting all giddy* "Yeah, so have you french kissed Dad??"
Me: "Yeah, but only cause we are married."
Taylor: *really giddy* "Is it fuuuuuunn?"
Me: *oh crap* "well, honey it's a way to show affection to the one you are married to."

At this point, I am kinda giggling inside that she was getting all giddy talking about french kissing, but very happy that it is dark and we are driving, so there is no eye contact.

She proceeds to tell me about a movie, Mean Girls, where this mom lets teenagers drink alcohol and have sex!!!!

Me: *stepping right into it* "Do you even know what sex is?"
Taylor: "No, what is it Mom?"
Me: *oh shit, why did I have to ask if she knew what it was? why didn't I just change the freaking subject?!* "Ummm, you should ask your mom that when you are a bit older."
Taylor: "but I want you to tell me!"
Me: *keeping my eyes on the road* "Why can't you ask your mom, that's a conversation that you should have with her."
Taylor: "I can't ask her cause Brogan doesn't know what we are taking about and at her house there is Dalton and DadGradie and I just can't ask her"
Me: *oh crap oh crap oh crap* "Ummm, honey I will tell you when you are older..."
Taylor: "If I have to wait until I am 12 I am going to be mad!"
Me: *deep breath* "I will tell you before you are 12...."

Then there was a long silence while I tried to wrap my brain around what just happened and I hear,

Taylor: "I think I know what it is....."
Me: "what?"
Taylor: "I can't describe it."
Me: "try...." *oh my hell, what is about to come out of my sweet innocent 8 year olds mouth??*
Taylor: "Its when people go all crazy with each other."
Me: "have you seen this on a movie or TV?"
Taylor: "Yeah on the movie Mean Girls this one girl goes in the janitors closet at school with a boy and they were kissing, well french kissing alot and their bodies were going all crazy!"
Me: *note:find out what is on this evil movie* "well, honey I haven't seen this movie so I am not sure if that was what the girl was doing."
Taylor: *thinking hard* "well, she has on this leotard thing, do you have to wear a leotard to have sex?"
Me: *holding back my laughter* "I haven't seen the movie honey, so I am not sure...."

Luckily, we had arrived to her other mom's house and I was able to get out of the sticky situation pretty quick.

I drove home in utter disbelief that I just had a somewhat sex talk with my 8 year old!!! She is way too young to be asking me about sex!

Whatever happened to her imaginary invisible pterodactyls that were living in my backseat? I bet they got scared when the sex talk came up and flew out the window, never to be seen again!