Kids and Crotches!

Ha-- I knew that the title would reel you in!

I hope that I do not offend anyone with this post. If I do, then *oops!* sorry. You can either agree with me or take me with a grain of salt.

Earlier in the week, I had my yearly girly visit to the doctor. I sat in the waiting room in awe. There were sooooo many ladies there with a dozen kids each. Yes, it is a OB office, so babies/kids are part of the package deal in that place, but do you really have to bring them with you when you get the gates that brought them into this world checked out?!

I can understand bringing them to the boring pregnancy checks. The ones where you pee in a cup, they see how much more weight you gained, blood pressure, heart beat, tape measure to size up your growing belly. That's all kosher and cool.

I can also understand the really fun pregant appointment--the ultrasound. But in all reality, you completely piss off the ultrasound tech who is trying to do their job of making sure your baby is healthy. She really doesn't want to play police to keep kids off her stuff. (Side note: the ultrasound is not to goo-goo-gaa-gaa about watching your baby wiggle and see if its packing a hot dog or taco. There is alot more to the exam that you don't realize the tech is doing while you are falling in love with the jumping bean inside.)

Back to the topic at hand.

These women were not pregnant... I could just tell. Some of them, I hoped that they were not pregnant because they had already done a pretty fantastic job of replenishing the earth with people.

So answer me this.... what on earth do you do with your kids in that room while you are getting a breast exam and who-ha exam all while wearing nothing but a paper towel?

I can not imagine having a child in that room with me!

Here are some of my thoughts as I sat in the exam room trying to keep my paper towel tucked under my right butt cheek so I didn't moon the world when the doc walked in.

*how do you stop a child from playing with everything in the room while pretty much naked?
*how on earth do you answer the questions that MUST come up in that situation?
*what do you do when your child wants to see what the doctor is doing?
*how do you not turn beet red when your kid asks why that man is touching your boobies?
*how, why, what, really?!

I am not a modest person, by Utah standards at least. But I do not need my child all up in my junk like that while the doctor is trying to make sure that everything is okay down under.

As for a child Taylors age (almost 8), I do not need her little ears to hear half the stuff that is talked about in that room. She doesn't need to know how heavy my periods are--she doesn't even know what a period is yet. She doesn't need to know about IUD strings, or cervix's, or anything related to a who-ha/period/sexual stuff. She needs to be a little girl and play and enjoy life. All this stuff will come soon enough.

So mommys of the world-- take my advice, with a grain of salt if needs be, get a babysitter when you go to the girly doctor. Enjoy the time away from your kids, maybe hit the grocery store on the way home and shop in peace, but for the love of all things related to your vagina--leave your kids home!