Cars

**Disclaimer--names of places have been changed, so I do not get sued for slander!

A few weeks ago we received a letter in the mail from a local car dealership, we will lovingly call them Crappy Cars, stating that I could most likely trade in my car and get a newer one, for the same payment. We should come on down, and see a specialist, blah, blah, blah...

So we decided to go down last night. We show up at Crappy Cars and like the vultures that they are, we had a salesman on us like white on rice! He looked all suave in his giant sunglasses, slicked back hair, wrinkled shirt, pin striped suit pants, and really bad shoes. You know the look!

We told him what we were doing, with the snazzy letter and all that. He shows us around the lot, used older cars, used new cars, Jared wanted to test drive two. The first was a 2009 Nissan Alantra. I was sequestered in the back seat, with Brogan in his car seat, who is getting more and more irritated. I really didn't pay much attention to the test drive, I was busy entertaining the boy.

Then we go for a drive in the 2005 Nissan Maxima. It was a better ride, had more power, and a fussy child in the back seat. Brogan was really getting tired of the car seat. We would get him out of one car and he thought he was free then, we would stick him back in another one. How mean!

So we go into the salesmans desk to..... negotiate.

He had us fill out some forms. He asked Jared to sign one that said he would take the car, if we could work out agreeable terms. Jared would not sign it. Advice: Don't ever sign that form, we had some friends get totally screwed by signing that form.

We told him that we didn't want a huge payment and that we have our current car paid off. The dude looked at us like we MUST have been druglords or something to actually have a vehicle paid off--is it that uncommon?!

He goes back to talk to the man behind the wall, I like to call him the Wizard of Oz.

When you have watched the Wizard of Oz; it's been awhile for me, but do you picture him as this squirrelly little pip-squeak man.... with dark skin, a totally rad cabana shirt on, and a stupid hat on his head? Well, I do. And that's exactly what came back with our salesman.

So he says, "How does a payment of $365.00 sound?"

Me: "How long do we pay that?"

Oz: "That is financed for 60 months."

Me: (choking) "Ummm, what is the trade-in value of my car?"

Oz: "$2000"

Me: (shitting my pants, wrestling Brogan off of the desk, jaw dropping)

Oz: "Well, I quoted the price of the car wrong to the salesman, and I have to stick with that price. Instead of $15,900, it really is $18, 900. So we have to take that difference off the value of your car."

Me: (getting pissed) "So you are telling me that because you messed up, all of a sudden the value of my car is less?!"

Oz: "Yes"

Me: "Well, I thought my car was worth a hell of alot more than that! I remember what I paid for it new!"

Oz: "What, did you pay $6000 for it?"

Me: (nostrils flaring)"Nope, more than that. Plus, my car is worth more than that to me."

Jared: (sitting in his chair saying nothing, but extremely pissed, shaking his head)

Oz: "Well, how creative are you?"

Me: (not caring what Brogan destroys on the desk) "I can draw you a pretty picture."

Oz: "Well, we could do some creative financing...."

Me and Jared: "Ummmm, NO!"

Oz:"How much do YOU guys think that your car is worth?"

Us: (gathering up our stuff) "more than what you wanna give!"

Us: Leaving. Walking out! "Bye-Bye Crappy Cars!"

I was so mad! They were wanting me to trade in my 2004 car and finance their 2005 car for 5 freaking years, with a payment of $365.00!

Do I have stupid stamped on my head?!

So we left Crappy Cars, Rico Suave salesman, and Oz, and went across the parking lot to Golden Corral for dinner!

*Tacey, I totally love you and your husband--I KNOW that he is not like the Wizard of Oz--please don't take offense to my ranting!!*