The Forgotten Holiday

Why is Thanksgiving forgotten?

Why does Christmas have to last from Oct 29th to Jan 15th?

Really, it's true.

Thanksgiving is the forgotten holiday. Before the stores are done selling scary masks, pumpkins, and mass amounts of candy it looks like Santa puked all over the place.

When I am shopping for face paint and vampire fangs I do not want to see a 4 foot tall nutcracker on display.

Poor, poor Thanksgiving. I still love you, turkey dinner.

This subject is one of my pet peeves.

I hate driving around this time of year and seeing Christmas lights turned on all over my neighborhood. Giant blow up snowmen, and lighted deer that look like they are grazing on the lawn.

It brings out my mischevious side.

I want, but have never done--cause my better judgment tell me not to-- do some funny/mean things.

I would love to take out a light bulb in the middle of the strand of lights, so they won't work and it takes forever for the homeowners to find the problem. I don't think this tactic works on the newer light strands, don't they make them so they will still work even if it is missing a light bulb?

But there is an answer to that problem. I need practice with Taylors new BB gun. I can hear the sweet sound of tiny little light bulbs breaking now. Problem is, I am really not that good of a shot, and would, most likely, take out window. That is not my intention.

I understand that people may hang their lights while it is still warm, and before the hustle bustle of the holidays start, but please please don't turn them on until you have had your post turkey nap.

Oh, now for those lighted deer that are grazing on the lawn. I would LOVE to arrange them in sexual positions. Usually, the deer are in various stances. One has her head down eating, another has his head up looking around, sometimes you can find a nice buck in a jumping postion. Yeah, perfect! Such a fun game. Pissing off your neighbors by making a virtual porn on their front lawn every night.

Another good one, nonsexual, would be to hang it from a tree, like a buck that has been shot on the hunt. Maybe next year, they will keep them in the garage until it is actually Christmas!

Christmas music on the radio. Eewww. Bugs me. Just get done jamming out to 'Monster Mash' and then 'Deck the Halls' comes blaring on. Totally ruins the moment. Can we keep the Christmas Carols on the downlow until we are waiting in line for the door buster shopping on Friday?

One more thing, Christmas is over on December 25th. Yeah, its done.

No more pretty presents to look at.

Take your tree out!

It doesn't need to be in until the Superbowl.

If Christmas trees were the same as when I was a kid, as in REAL, no one would have their tree in that long because their house would burn down!

Maybe I am this way, due to my mother--love you mom.

At my house growing up, the tree went in about December 20th, and it was out before I woke up on the 26th. For those 6 days of pine-y freshness, my sweet mom hovered around that tree with her vacuum. Just waiting for a needle to drop so she could suck it up. There was an upside to her ADD needle sucking, the vacuum smelled like a wreath for about a month after. Any vacuuming that happened after that, the smell of pine would permeate the house.

I beg you please, enjoy your giant turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and pie. Give thanks for what you have. It should not be treated like a pregame show for Santa.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!