Like a Virgin

I made it through the wilderness
Somehow I made it through
Didn't know how lost I was
Until I found you....

....Like a virgin

Touched for the very first time

Like a virgin....

That is how I felt for my first Black Friday shopping experience. Whoa! Crazy!

I survived though, there were a few close calls.

Jared talked me into going to, of all places, Walmart for the doorbuster sale. We talked to our friend Kim who is a professional at this thing. She gave me a few hints on what to do.

"Don't waste your time on a cart, you can't get through the crowd anyway."

"Go with friends and strategically place everyone in different areas of the store, and then meet up in the food aisles when you are done."

"Stand by your most wanted item to begin with and go from there."

She was going at 3:00 am and the sale opened at at 5:00 am. Walmart had all the stuff in the aisles on pallets throughout the store. We showed up around 4:15 am and had to park in the north 40 of the parking lot, it was already packed.

When we got into the store, we picked up our map. The map was to show us where everything was, cause items were not in their regular spot. The appliances were where the produce should be. The toys were in the housewares/paint aisle. The electronics were everywhere from between the food and clothes aisle, down where the toys usually are.

Jared went to stake his claim on a trampoline. There I was, all alone, in a sea of fakely nice people. There was people EVERYWHERE. I first went over by the appliances because my mom wanted a crockpot, then I changed my mind and went over by the clothes.

There was a bin of $4 pajamas for kids that had vulture-women surrounding it. I stayed. The ladies were nice. Friendly chat going on, giggling about the circumstances. Different people discussing their game plan. We couldn't touch any merchandise until it was 'time'.

As time drew nearer to 5 the buzz of excitement was increasing. Then I was shocked. I look up to see some employees standing ON TOP of the freezer section aisles, with radios, looking over the crowds below. They were directly above all the flat screen TV's. I bet they had pepper spray or tasers in their pockets.

Then it was time. The employees yelled "Go" and it was game on. There were pajamas flying everywhere, people scurrying about. I got into the box and was bent over looking for Taylor's size. Next thing I know, there is some lady crawling over the top of me! I had 4 pairs in my hand, and my phone fell out of my pocket. Another lady stepped on it. I had to hit her leg to get her off it.

There I was, pushed down to my hands and knees, clutching Hanna Montana PJ's, with crazy women crawling on top of me, stuck. I had to back out of the crowd, like a little tick. Finally, I was able to stand up. I grapped some PJ's for Brogan, and I didn't know what to do next.

I looked at my handy-dandy map, and pushed my way to the really cheap DVD section. It was already pretty picked over. I randomly grabbed movies that looked good. Jared called me to tell me he got a trampoline, and to come over there. Yeah right!

He was over in the automotive section. I had to make my way through the maze of people and shopping carts. I threw my stuff at him, and asked where the toys were. He pointed up the aisle and off I went.

In that moment of frenzy and chaos, some alternate personality takes over and tells you to get everything your kids, nieces, anyone you know might want. I grabbed 2 bags of mega blocks and slung them over my arm. I grabbed 2 Star Wars light sabers, I have no idea why. I got to the $5 High School Musical Dolls and got all three girls. I made my way back to Jared, he was giggling pretty hard at me. 2 hours previously, I was sleepy Tori that didn't want to go. Now I had morphed into a crazed women grabbing everything in my path.

I shoved my goods at him, and was off again. I was able to get my mom that crock-pot that she wanted and met my friend Kim in the frozen section to get the pants she grabbed for Taylor.

Then it was time to check out. Within 15-20 minutes ALL the checkout stands were clogged. And when I say clogged, I mean it. The cluster of people went back halfway through the store. It was not moving either. We found our way up to a checkout that no one really realized was there, thanks to Jareds sister.

We had to stand in line for almost an hour to check-out. We hit a Home Depot on the way home and Jared was in and out in 20 minutes. So nice.

By the time we got home, around 7 am. No one was up--well my Dad had just gotten in the shower. My kids had no idea that we were even gone.

My Christmas shopping is pretty much done and now my doorbuster cherry is popped.

I am no longer a Virgin!!