Tori's Vegas Travel Advise

This is my advice post for visiting Las Vegas.

First things first

For transportation around town ride "The Deuce". It is the bus system that goes up and down the strip, 24 hours a day. It is only $5.00 for a 24 hour pass, or $2.00 per ride. Way cheaper than a cab--it can cost $30.00 for a cab ride up the strip.

The bus runs quite often, and has tons of stops. Trust me, saves the legs. Jared had HUGE knots in his calves and my shins were killing me.

It is a double-decker bus. Go sit on the top, way better up there and you will have plenty of time to get off when he stops.

The water show at the Bellagio is pretty cool. It goes off every 15 minutes. Word to the wise--it does not go after midnight.

Lesson learned.

We walked and walked and walked cause Jared really wanted to see it. We got up there about 12:10. We asked a cool bike cop in a neon yellow vest how often the water show happened. Yeah, he let us know that we were late. We were able to catch it a different night though.

Ok, now for the topless shows.

They all brag that they are soooo erotic and voted #1 in Vegas. Makes me wonder how 17 different topless shows, or shows nonetheless, can be voted #1. It seems like everything in Vegas is voted #1.

We went cause we got those "free" tickets on our timeshare extravaganza. This show was supposed to be all hot and erotic and vampirey.

Ok, the girls did have vampire teeth. But it really wasn't that erotic. There was this cheesy vampire guy in it who's mullet would make Billy Ray Cyrus jealous. He looked a little pedophile-ish to me, but that's my opinion. There were a few cool parts, but for the most part kinda dumb. Regular price tickets are $50. No, wouldn't pay that much.

Most of the girls were so athletic that they didn't have much boobs. What's the point of a topless show with boobless girls? If they did have anything on top, they were fake, so they didn't move or jiggle or anything.

We actually left early. We would rather have Charle the Chicken-eye dealer take our money.

Now for the rides....

This first one we didn't go on, it's not cause we are wuss-bags or anything. We talked to several people who rode it and said, "if you have been drinking or plan on drinking don't do it---it will ruin your night."

Well, Jared and I like to drink a bit so we bagged that one.

It looked really fun, a little crazy, but fun.

I had a feeling that I was going to pee my pants on these ride, I packed accordingly.

Luckily, I was able to control my bladder. Thank you kiegels.

I did yell out a vulgar word or two for the observation deck to enjoy. This ride is an arm that hangs off over the top of the stratosphere, so you feel like you are going to go flying off and splatter on top of the 'Thunder Down Under' billboard.

Not too bad of a way to die, splattered on naked, hot Aussies.

We were on the very front and I will admit that it is scary.

The Big Shot.... honestly, this was the one that got me.

It lives on the 'needle' part of the Tower. When you are strapped in, you feel like you are just hanging out on top of the world. The anticipation is horrible, cause you have no idea when it is going to shoot you off into the sky.

I hate that feeling at the top, when you are weightless for a few seconds (feels like forever) and your head is all heavy cause your stomach took up residence in it.

Yucky, I had to close my eyes so I didn't puke.

Then you come down, and during that part your brain decides to relocate along with your stomach and live just outside your sphincter.

But hey, tons of fun! I totally think everyone should do it!

A good ride a little closer to the ground is the rollercoaster at New York New York.

Way fun! We went twice.

It goes pretty fast and lasts a long time, for a rollercoaster.

When we got off, our hair looked like we stepped out of an 80's porn.

Jared's was all fluffy and 'feathered'. Mine looked like I got a hold of a bottle of AquaNet, tipped my head upside down, and ratted the shit out of it.

But we loved it!

So there is a few tid bits that I learned on my trip to Las Vegas.

Just tryin' to share the love.....