Mother Goose!

So I am at the stage with Brogan where I am singing, yes, sad but true--singing nursery rhymes to him. As I think about the words of some of these--they are messed up!

Mother Goose was a demented goose riding witch!

Let's analyze......

Peter Peter pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn't keep her!
He put her in a pumpkin shell,
And there he kept her very well!

Ok, so is Peter a dominating jerk of a husband who locked up
his wife cause she wanted to leave him? I hope she broke out
of that pumpkin shell and kicked some pumpkin eater ass!

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
She had so many children she didn't know what to do!
So she gave them some broth without any bread,
And she whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed!

Can you say child abuse!! Lets mix neglect, and physical abuse!!
Ummm...... birth control would be nice too.

Rock a bye baby on the tree top,
When the wind blows the cradle will rock,
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all.

What kind of a mother puts her baby in a tree top? She must be some crackwhore that is flitting around town looking for her next fix. I hope social services step in soon!

Mary Mary quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells
And pretty maids all in a row.

Ok, so in my google search of nursery rhymes for this post, I found out some interesting stuff.

The meaning behind this Mary, Mary rhyme is quite gruesome. This is what I learned....

The Mary alluded to in this traditional English nursery rhyme is reputed to be Mary Tudor, or Bloody Mary, who was the daughter of King Henry VIII. Queen Mary was a staunch Catholic and the garden referred to is an allusion to graveyards which were increasing in size with those who dared to continue to adhere to the Protestant faith - Protestant martyrs.

The silver bells and cockle shells referred to in the Nursery Rhyme were colloquialisms for instruments of torture. The 'silver bells' were thumbscrews which crushed the thumb between two hard surfaces by the tightening of a screw. The 'cockleshells' were believed to be instruments of torture which were attached to the genitals!

The " Maids" or Maiden was the original guillotine! The 'maids' were a device to behead people called the Maiden. Beheading a victim was fraught with problems. It could take up to 11 blows to actually sever the head, the victim often resisted and had to be chased around the scaffold. Margaret Pole (1473 - 1541), Countess of Salisbury did not go willingly to her death and had to be chased and hacked at by the Executioner. These problems led to the invention of a mechanical instrument (now known as the guillotine) called the Maiden - shortened to Maids in the Mary Mary Nursery Rhyme.

And actually, the rock a bye baby rhyme is about some Native Americans that lived in the trees and they had hollowed a branch to make a cradle for their babies. I mean no disrespect as I make fun of it.

But back to my point here....

If you were an analytical little curtain climber--some of these nursery rhymes would freak ya out a bit!